The Mother Hash Interview

HP: NairBare, we met some amazing people at MotherHash, who were some of your favorites?

NB: My mind first jumps to … actually I’m going to do a list first: Shrek, Sand Storm, Mental Disorder, and Wild Wolf. Those are my people! Shrek and Sand Storm, from Perth Australia, we met before hand at a prelube in Malacca. They were just overall friendly people who just love to laugh. We had conversations that weren’t your typical, “Hi, where are you from/what have you done, etc.?” We jumped right into jokes and hashing stories. And we might be seeing them here (Perhentian Islands) again today! And that didn’t come up in our conversation because we didn’t talk about that normal stuff.

Mental Disorder was just a cool lookin’ dude. Tattoos, frosted tips (lol), and buff. He was named Mr. Australia in 2007. I tried to look him up after the first night we met to see if he was full of shit, and didn't find him anywhere. I asked him about that a day or two later and found out that the popular Mr. Australia contest includes people on steroids. He was the winner of the doping-free version, and pulled up a website to prove it. He had a beautiful, Asian girlfriend that looked to be half his age. My idol.

Wild Wolf. I know he was one of my favorites and I can’t even tell you that much about him.

We met him at a rouge circle thing during the closing ceremonies of the hash. I don’t know how we started talking or why, but within seconds we were both getting a kick out of each other; hootin’ and hollerin’ about god knows what. I thought I got his contact info, but I did not, he just said if you ever come to the Philippeans just ask for me and you’ll find me. Where in the Philippines, I have no idea; I’m just going to go there and scream “Wild Wolf” until he appears.

I really liked the guy from Washington, Dirty Mother Fucker. He was just a cool guy that I got along with really well and was easy to talk to. Liked to party and really cared about the history of the hash.

An honorable mention goes to Anacondom from Ottawa who was always with his 80 year old father with the exception of the ball breaker, where he kicked ass. We met both of these guys in Malacca as well! They were great.

And I think that’s about it. I really didn’t meet too many new people because I was busy catching up with people I already knew.

HP: What was it like to be in the mecca of where it all began?

NB: Overall I didn’t think it was as eye opening/jaw dropping/revolutionary as I thought it was going to be going into it.  That’s probably because there were so many hashers from all over the world that we got a feel of other kennel’s traditions as well. I mean the first hash we did in the “Mecca” was put on by the Canadians. So I guess what I’m saying is, being there didn’t give a feeling of anything original or holy. The exception was being at the Royal Selangor Club where the hash began. That had a very cool, old school, ghost of hashers past feel to it. It was great to have a beer there and visit the room dedicated to the hash, which was full of hash memorabilia probably up to 80 years old from all over the place: shirts, cartoons, patches, flags, etc. The best part was the huge paper timeline of the origins of known hash kennels across the world. We learned that the Phoenix Wrong Way kennel started in 1988 and came from Mexico City, which spawned from San Jose, Costa Rica, which came from Seoul, South Korea. I would definitely recommend any hasher stopping in KL for any reason to go visit the Royal Selangor Club to see where it all began.

HP: NairBare, tell me about the ball breaker trail at the 80th Anniversary of Mother Hash

NB: The ballbreaker? Hot, hot, hot! So sweaty. Well I can start out by saying I shouldn’t have drank as much booze the night before. I didn’t get hammered or anything, but I shouldn’t have drank as much as I did. The ballbreaker required my body to be fully saturated with water. It was just the sweatiest I’ve ever been. And by the end of it, my body was sick of being so wet for so long. It was like being in the bath, I was pruny after it. My skin was irritated from it. The start sucked really bad. The busses dropped us off and we had to stand outside in the open sunlight-which was brutal-and we had to wait until everyone was rounded up and all the volunteers were ready. It was just a long time baking in the sun. Athletically speaking, I was actually impressed with how long my body went before cramping and running out of steam completely. We had previously only been doing up to 5 mile runs for the last 3 months and so it was impressive that I made it 12 before my body started giving up on me. Other than that it was just uphill, uphill, uphill the entire way and it never stopped. Or at least it felt like it. The middle section was just so much climbing. I did really love the 2 aid stations, they were sent from G, except G would have had beer there. They had disgusting electrolyte water and fruit and it was necessary to living. Circle was mediocre in my opinion, mostly because the men in front of me wouldn’t stop talking. And of course they only sang the same 2 hash songs over and over again, which we have found is not uncommon in Malaysia. Overall I am very happy with it, I’m very happy we did it. Although it was miserable on the body at times, we did have a good time. I kept one of the pieces of paper they laid the trail with. It shows the emblem of the 80th anniversary ball breaker on it. And i got a shitty quality tec tee that actually fits me well, so that’s nice.

NB: Hot Pocket, was there anything you were really expecting or hoping for at Mother Hash that you didn’t get?

HP: I was a little disappointed in the haberdashery, I guess. I was hoping for more and cheaper options. Our friend Biggles that we met at Eurohash last year was there, and he has nice stuff, but it was kind of expensive. I was also a little sad about circles during Mother Hash. I wish they were better. Most of the trails we went to had a sad circle. It just seems like circle isn’t a big deal with some of these kennels and I really love circles and songs. They just do it differently here and I guess that’s OK. Kuala Lumpur also sucked, but that’s not Mother Hash’s fault.

NB: OK, then. What exceeded your expectations and blew you away.

HP: I thought the venue was awesome. I had never been to a hash event held at a stadium. That was really cool. Lots of places to sit. Check-in and gimmies were super easy; things ran very smoothly. Getting food was very easy there as well. Lots of options for food, not the best food, but there was plenty and it was fast. But my all-time favorite thing was the entertainment. I loved the Chinese tiger dance thing. Is that what that’s called? The people in there are incredibly talented. I really loved the Punjabi dancers. I think that's what they’re called. They were just so happy and smiley the whole time they danced! And the band! The band was fantastic and the lead singer was hot! But you know what the best part was? Seeing FellatiNo and Krumm.

NB: Hot Pocket, you did three trails during Mother Hash: Thursday night’s Sad Cow hash, Saturday’s Ball Breaker, and Sunday’s Old Farts trail. Which one was your favorite? Tell me all about it.

HP: I really liked the Sad Cow trail. It was something we weren’t expecting to do. We met a lot of new people and got to see a lot of KL. They fed us really great food afterwards, and I got to sing a song at circle. They also gave us a lot of swag. It was all Canadian themed stuff; we got a hat, shirt, flag, pin, and bracelet. I also really liked the Ball Breaker even though it was one of the most difficult runs I’ve ever done. Let’s talk about that more somewhere else. I could go on and on about that. My favorite run was the Old Farts trail. It goes back to why I value anything. Good people. We showed up to that run 20 minutes late because we were hanging out at the Royal Selangor’s Club. More on that later as well. We asked around and found that the pack had already left and trail was marked in orange stickers. We set off on trail on our own. It was me, NairBare, FellatiNo, Krumm, and Osama. We DFL’d the whole trail by ourselves. Before we left the hash stadium we loaded up our bags with hash beer and cider, and I had leftover vodka from the night before. Someone at the venue told us the trail would take us 45 minutes. I think it took us at least an hour and a half. It was really great. We weren’t in any kind of hurry. The 5 of us just kind of talked and walked and caught up. We ran into some friends along the way. We would occasionally stop and browse in some street shops. Sometimes I feel guilty about not doing a long trail when i’m at a hash event, but the quality time spent with my best friends was irreplaceable. When we got back to the stadium, they were in the middle of the Old Farts circle. And let me tell you, there are some old farts out there. I hope the 5 of us are hashing trails together until we’re as old as those farts.

Notes: We did enjoy the event as a whole. It was really great to see so many Phoenix hashers that made the trip: FellatiNo, Krumm, Calendar Girl, Railroad, B Flat, Victor, Cherry, Surgeon, Out of Order, No No, and Snow White even though he wasn’t Phoenix. We met lots of new folks, drank some beers, ran some trails, and got really sweaty. A big thank you goes to the organizers! On On!

NairBare and Hot Pocket